Thursday, August 23, 2007

Indirect discourse, now only 99 cents

I LIKE the way this dude talks about my obsessionsociété du fond.

•••

I like crosswords. But I can never wake up early and do one over a cup of OJ, because I'm cheap and the paper that employs me is an afternoon daily. So I get my crossword at about 10/10:15 a.m., and can't work on it until 4 p.m. (at the earliest).

Woe is me.

I've thought about watching Wordplay, but I don't really like Blockbuster or Hollywood Video (although I have a card for Hollywood... I might as well use it...). They're both completely out of my way, and I'd only have to travel back out there to drop off the movie after watching it. Who watches a rented movie more than once, anyway? (OK, I think I watched Gattaca about seven times before returning it, but that's different.)

I could buy it on iTunes, but that's like $10 and although it's a critically acclaimed documentary, it's a documentary. About crossword puzzles. I dunno 'bout that one.

•••

The more I interact with "society," the more I find I really am a child of the Web (even if, the first time my dad showed me "the Internet," I dismissed it as boring). I prefer to order clothing online -- the salespeople annoy me and make me uncomfortable... but not in a weird agoraphobic kind of way. I order music, movies and television shows online.

I'll probably order pizza online next time I need delivery, just to test it out and see if its faster than staying on hold for 10 minutes.

I do all my research online, for places I want to visit, things about which I want to know more. I converse with everyone online. I can't remember the last time (thank-you notes and cards nonwithstanding) I wrote someone a letter.

I order books online. I'll go so far as to visit Barnes and Noble, copy down an ISBN, and then go home and look up the book online, to find a hardcover edition, or a non-movie-tie-in edition, or a first edition.

I read all my news online. Aside from my own paper (and The Post and The Times here at work), I don't even give newsprint a second glance. I like to look at papers' designs, but I don't think flipping through one for my daily news is for me. It's much easier to click the "News" bookmark folder I have, and read things that way.

You see, computers don't annoy me. They don't get in front of my in the grocery store and walk really slow. They don't cut me off and then drive like they're drunk. They don't smell. They don't say uncouth things. They don't like NASCAR. Or country music. Or western music.

Does that make me a bad person?

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