Monday, August 06, 2007

Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy

SO I FORGOT what I was Googling, but I came across this message board, which asked the site's readership to post its ideas of the worst song lyrics ever. I also don't know why I read the whole thing, but a lot of it was very funny. Many are rap songs, but that just goes to show...

I've posted my favorites here so you don't have to scroll through a marathon thread to find the small glimmers of true humor (many entries just dump entire songs in their posts and look to the reader to discern what's so damn funny. No thank you).

Caveat lector: entries are reposted without permission and in their entirety. Foul language and slurs are included, true to the spirit of the songs in which they appear. Also, I've included quite a few entries. Whatever, they're funny.

Tucker Max (who posed the question) writes:
For me, the choice is clear. From "Ring Ding Dong" by Dr Dre:

Listen to the beats i spill
Keepin it real
I use Crest
So ain't no cavity creeps in my drill
But still niggas run up and try to kill at will
But get popped like a pimple
So call me Clearasil
Jane Folds writes:
Shakira-"Whenever, wherever"

"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble
so you don't confuse them with mountains"

Um, what? Lucky for whom?
Zambonian writes:
1) "Do I really feel the way I feel?" – Marc Cohn, Walking in Memphis. Why yes, Marc, I expect you feel exactly the way you feel.

2) "Until it ends, there is no end." – Cyndi Lauper, All Through the Night. But after it ends…that’s when the ending really starts.

3) "Only time will tell if we stand the test of time." – Van Halen, Why Can’t This Be Love? Oooh, Sammy. That’s way deep, dude.
AKB$ writes:
Lovers & Friends by Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris

"Opened up your heart 'cause you said I made you feel so comfortable,
Used to play back then, now you all grown-up like Rudy Huxtable"

Who uses Rudy Huxtable as a ryhme in a song??
Boss Hogg writes:
After that, baby girl, Hey let's get some bub
Love, love, don't rub, we fittin to hit the club
Yeah they dance, but a lap dance they want a dub
They don't know nan, ask Trick they love a thug
Bam bam, jam jam, and a handstand, ha ha so tan in the tan stand
Ra-ra, na-na, ha-ha, la-la, mama I keep that blam blam
-Cam'ron

WTF??
Quality writes:
"More Reasons" by Cam'ron <-----Shit is embarassing
Yo, uh, I rock baguettes with hoodies, it's like extra goodie
I couldn't break dance ya'll, or electric boogie
I was obsessed with Cookie, I wanna sex her cookie
She said forget her nookie, wipe my nose, go get them boogies
I gave Cookie nookies, with the girls, got known
This my two brim hat, call me Sherlock Holmes

"Superthug" by Noreaga
Aiyyo, we light a candle
Run laps around the english channel
Neptunes, I got a cockerspaniel

"Let's Get It" by G-Dep
Really, get smacked silly, you get smacked silly
Fucking with these niggaz from the, what you gon' do
When you ready? Shit I was born ready
And I was already on fish and spaghetti

"Only One Way Up" by Juelz Santana
Stop the hoe jokes, I'm not a homo, better believe I'll cock the 4-4
I ain't Mexican, but I'll stretch your man, yes I am a fuckin' vato loco
Hoski Broski writes:
As much as I love the guy, Bob Marley has some pretty ridiculous lyrics. My favorite:
"Please don't rock my boat, cause I don't want my boat to be rocking" from "Satisfy my soul."
Very profound, Bob.

1 comment:

Yakov Hadash said...

Fish in a barrel. You could quote just about anything from Dipset, Jeezy or most southern rap...