Tuesday, April 11, 2006


Personally, I'm rather indifferent to the existence of speedbumps. I drive a '91 Ford Tempo (presently), and I doubt the presence of a 3-inch-wide strip of raised asphalt changes my speed as I drive out of Bard Townhouses.

But I do recognize that people with newer, nicer cars may be a little hesitant to pass over what they must perceive as a Himalayan-sized bump. Then there are the newer not-so-nicer cars, the ones with body kits. I can also see where speedbumps would hinder their Fiberglas vanity should they drive over them without reducing speed.

I recognize these things, but they still annoy me. They annoy me very much. It's sort of a pet peeve. But I have many pet peeves, so it's no big deal.

Then I found myself driving behind a Honda CRV, and getting slightly annoyed that it, too, was slowing to cross the bump. Then I stepped back, mentally, and re-evaluated what was happening.

A Honda CRV was slowing down, because the driver was worried that the speedbump would damage their what? Shocks? Tires? Brakes? Undercarriage?

You're in an SUV! What could a tiny little chunk of concrete that has been paved into the ground do to you! Contrary to popular belief, I'm pretty sure Honda still designs it's SUVs for utility like functions, i.e., going offroad. Even though the American public has gobbled them up for driving to-and-from its suburnban homes, they retain things like shocks that can handle rough terrain, undercarriages built to take a beating from a stick or two.

Why are you slowing down for a BUMP??

This, I concluded, was unacceptable. Unnacceptable.

Here's to you, Mr. Slows-down-for-speed-bumps-in-his-SUV- because-he-thinks-it-might-hurt-the-car guy.


Leslie said...

Wow, that's a great beer commercial if I ever heard one. :-)

Two other thoughts --

1.) Is it REALLY possible that you are 21? I think that makes me older than my music being grouped with your dad's. :-) ha!

2.) Do you honestly think that your 26 (almost 7) year old English teacher cousin knows how to WRITE HTML?!? Really, Brendan! :-) I am like a sponge, though. I learn SO GOOD (that's the English teacher in me)!!! The only thing I really want to add is a "favorite blogs" type of section so I can easily get to my buddies to check their pages without clogging-up my favorites list. Can you help me, pwetty-pweez?

Big hug to you!

Ev said...

your writting exudes such angst to the efect of ill will marinaded in venom

I love it man