Monday, November 28, 2005

13 Going on 30

Poor Andy Serkis. Poor Poise. Poor you-go-girl secretary.

They were all merely tools, constructions in the protagonist's imagination. At best they were in an alternate future where they are now jobless and ruined. Their lives -- created to show Jennifer Garner that mistakes she may make at 13 will snowball into her becoming cold, calculated, and a cutthroat at 30 -- have turned upside down.

I feel bad for them, for all their hard work in life, struggling against certain doom.

The Hollywood ending left their plotlines to wisp through a negated universe.

But at least Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo lived
happily ever after.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Nikolai Tesla

"Let me tell you a little something about a man named Nikola Tesla.

Tesla worked for a man named Thomas A. Edison. Edison fired Tesla, many would say over their growing disagreement of alternating versus direct current.

Edison was the innovator of, among many things, Menlo Park. Menlo Park was in New Jersey. That, my dear friends, was a mistake.

Tesla was a large proponent of alternating current, while Edison favored direct current. Tesla tried to explain that alternating current, which does not dissipate over distance, is superior. Edison hired men to walk around with AC crank generator and electrocute dogs. Tesla was busy becoming paranoid of all things circular, and creating his death ray.

Tesla was evicted from his building for, more or less, being a mad scientist. As his research into resonance harmonics progressed, he discovered the frequency at which cinderblock crumbles. He pondered this for a moment, turned around, and stuck his device onto one of his basement apartment's steel support beams.

When the right frequency resonates through steel, it becomes almost like a reed in the wind. When the right frequency resonates through a load-bearing steel I-beam of an apartment building, the building itself becomes very much like a gigantic reed in the wind.

Needless to say, the other tenants didn't like this."

As told, more or less, by Evan R. West.