Monday, March 21, 2005

Stir-crazy

this is a manifesto.
i lied. i don't really know what that means.

i must admit, i do not believe that a resume is what will ultimately win me a career instead of a job. i see fallacy written all over it, and fear the day i put together my own, it will have nothing on it.

i wish i could be openly funny about everything, and just have people understand that humor is more important than any other single idea in human history.

i want to write for the daily show one day.
you all know that jon stewart is our generation's johnny carson.
if you don't, you're kidding yourself, and making carson into something he isn't:
a god.
yes, he was hilarious, but still.

i hate those people, when you try and reason with them their side of the argument just doesn't hold up.

i hate those people who think they have the slightest clue about ANYTHING, when really none of us do.

i hate people. in general. men in black may be a stupid movie, but it taught me one thing.
a person is smart, people are dumb, slow, and insane.
yeah i kind of made up the second part of that, but fuck you.

since when do people like the woman who writes the shopaholic series have financial security, when they write CRAP.

since when do you care?

i'm tiring of this game.
i don't know what the FUCK i'm going to do about scheduling next semester
and yes, loretta, there is more that you can do.
you just don't WANT TO.
and no, loretta, coming to you the moment i get my grade from my SUMMER COURSE, in AUGUST, is not an acceptable answer to "what should i do, i'm not in the department, but the only courses i have to take are in the department, and they only have one section"

basically, unless they let me in under some special whatever, i'm fucked.

i hate my art of the film book, it was written by monkeys who had somehow attained degrees from universities.
the one guy's dead.

i think it's time to update your material when you say that babe was a "film for children of all ages"

it's a textbook, not a god damn advertisement.

i don't know what i want, but a feeling of depression sort of wafted over me.
graduation is so close, and i have no clue as to where i'm going to go afterwards.
i say this a lot, but it's on my mind three times as much as i let on.

i wouldn't mind making movies.
i wouldn't mind screen writing, or directing. but i don't know the first thing about directing.
screen writing it is then.
woo.

i also wouldn't mind working for the parks department or the forestry service.
i've said this often as well, but it really is true.

i don't know what i want out of life, other than to be happy.
but apparently, to be happy, you have to have a 401k, a credit line, a lease on a car, and bills to pay.

i just want to live, really that's all. i want to see the world, and live.

maybe it's because it's cold today, instead of insanely warm like the past two days.
maybe it's because i have an exam, a quiz, a rought draft, a topic, a presentation, a research proposal, an article, a paper, and text questions due this week.

maybe it's because i have to go to the launguage lab and do my spanish lab book for the exam on monday.
'cause i sure as hell did NOT do it for the first test.
maybe all i want is to be appreciated, to be noticed, by the world.

maybe that's why i dress like i do, and wear cologne. i like it when people compliment me, i really do. i just don't know how to show it.
sorry.

i'm going to california april 8.
between now and then i have everything i had mentioned about four paragraphs up, plus rent, the cable bill, my sony bill, ebay is charging me, and whoopty-do.

the concept of money is fucked up.

i'd love to live in british colombia. or seattle.
i love the rain.
if it rained every day, i think i'd be O.K. with that.

i really wish we were going to san fransisco instead of los angeles.
i liked the boston trip last year, because it was boston, there weren't any "amusement parks" that they could make us go to.
i don't really like roller coasters.
i liked the city.
and i've always wanted to see san fransisco.

oh well.
there's always...... rod-e-o drive.
someone needs to tell them it's just rodeo.

i have all this shit hitting me at once.
i have to go talk to my advisor, but she won't know what the hell to do, since she's in the chemistry department.
i have to find someone in the comm/journ department to talk to.

i want to go to nyc this summer, again.
the three hour train ride was suprisingly fun.
i want to go to washington d.c. and see all the marble and concrete.
i want to see the district sleeping alone.

i want to this
i want to that.

all i'm doing is providing an annoying pattern to look at.

i want to go to different countries over fall, winter, and spring breaks next year.
i owe it to myself, at least spring break. i haven't done anything for that one these past three years.

i want.

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